w/ Myron Mixon of Jack’s Old South, learning barbecue in Unadilla, Ga., Jan. 2012

The crew and I made it to Worthington, Minn. — barely — for the King Turkey Day Smokin’ Gobbler Cook-off. The event, my 30th last year, was moved out to the fairgrounds, and we got there just in time to be told there were no more judges slots open.

After the events of the previous week, to say we were upset would be an understatement.

But it worked out in the end, as all three of us were table captains which, frankly, was just fine with me. There was good food, swag and conversation. So I’d call it a win.

Several of the judges were talking about the Vermillion contest; one said she’d heard 15 judges were turned away. Someone else said they heard a master judge was not allowed to volunteer (yes, that was me).

I blame myself in this way. For 30-some contests, I’d only been late to the table one time. To have it happen two weeks in a row made me question what the problem was.

I realized that I had changed my routine to make the trips bearable for my new traveling companions. It was not their fault at all, but it dawned on me that I always left for contests earlier, and had things timed out.

If we judge again next summer, I am definitely stepping up my game.

If we decide to compete, well … we will really have to step up our game!

The summer of 2012 was the most schizophrenic of my five judging years. I judged only twice, table captained once, cooked with a team and was shut out from volunteering at all.

Wait until next year!

Enjoying a little Rendezvous at home Sunday night. Near perfect replica of our Memphis favorite.

Email sent to organizers, sponsors and KCBS after a disastrous trip to Vermillion today.

Hello Jen,

Your poor planning and dismissive attitude today at the Ribs, Rods and Rock N Roll contest in Vermillion, S.D., accounted for the most disappointing day I’ve had in competition barbecue since I starting judging in 2008.

My wife, our friend and I were “confirmed” by email to judge this contest. I was “confirmed” on June 28 by Maureen Cashin. The check-in was to begin at 9 a.m.; the judges’ meeting at 10.

We arrived to sign in at 9:50 a.m., after a four-hour drive from Aberdeen, S.D. At the check-in area, we quickly learned that you had overbooked judges, and many more had shown up than would be needed to judge. When I grabbed you to find out what happened, you said you had enough judges already and we weren’t needed. 

Rather than apologize for wasting our time, or say you screwed up, or even muster, “I’m sorry, I am busy right now, if you can give me a few minutes we can sort this out,” you snickered and asked, “Who taught your class? They should have told you to be there on time.” 

We left after just 20 minutes in Vermillion.

Jen, we were there on time; this wasn’t our fault. We left Aberdeen at 5:45 a.m., and drove four hours to Vermillion (you acted as though that was no big deal; it was to us!). Had we been late, none of us would have had a problem being told our seats were given to non-KCBS judges. Even in this situation, we would have understood. There is no “right to judge.” We are there to support the teams, the contest and KCBS.

But we don’t need to be insulted, especially when we did all that a contest requires. You weren’t doing us a favor — we were helping your contest!

As a matter of fact, check your email: You received one from my wife around 9:30 this morning, letting you know the three judges from Aberdeen were running behind but were on our way. We know that the organizers are concerned about having enough certified judges. We wanted to take that worry from you.

And for your information, I took my CBJ class in 2008. I just passed my master judge test this week. And in five years of judging — 33 contests in six states — I’ve never seen such a lack of respect given to judges.

It was also the first time I’ve ever been ashamed to have talked up competition barbecue to my family and friends. While I have been to dozens of comps, my wife and friend were just certified this summer, and have only judged a handful. I was embarrassed, and felt as though I let them down.

I’m a big boy. I can understand and accept if you or your team made a mistake in booking judges. I will not accept the “It’s your own fault” routine you pushed off on us. You owe it to the judges to let them know not to make the trek to your contest if you don’t need them.

Jen, here are the mistakes you made:

When you tell judges they are “confirmed,” that means they will be judging your contest! You seem to think it means, “We received your application; show up on Saturday and you may or may not get to participate.”

You may not know this, but many judges keep very detailed lists or spreadsheets to keep track of mileage, what day they applied, when they were confirmed, etc. Your “eligible to compete for a chance to judge” concept is at odds with that effort .

Here’s how it should work: You need 36 judges, then the first 36 certified CBJs who apply should be confirmed. The other 5, 10 or 50 should be told they are on a wait list; if a confirmed judge cancels, you go to the first name on the wait list and let them know a spot opened and they should come to Vermillion.

Check-in time is not a deadline. “Check in at 9 a.m.” does not mean judges must check in by 9, or be in line to check in by 9. It means, “check in begins at 9.” And check in traditionally goes up until the judges’ meeting, or until all the judges have arrived.

But you even screwed up enforcing your own skewed rules. One CBJ at your contest today signed in just after 9 a.m., then went to walk around the festival. When he returned before the judges’ meeting, there were no seats at the tables. He was left out from judging, and instead volunteered to table captain to get everyone out of an awkward situation. You didn’t even have the courtesy or the guts to own up to your error and get him his judging spot.

Your confirmation email did not explain any of your exceptions. Nowhere did you or your representative say, “Judges, we confirmed more of you than are necessary. If you come Saturday, show up early so you are sure to get a seat. If anyone wants to be a table captain or volunteer or be on the wait list, speak up.” This has been the norm at every other contest I’ve judged.

You didn’t apologize for your mistake. You blew me off. 

Apologize, let us work and graze at the volunteer table. Make it right, as best you can. It’s the absolute least you could do.

We might have only been three extra judges to you. But we rearranged our lives and made plans to be there for your contest. Show us some respect.

Finally, the most important lesson for you to learn: Never, ever be rude to volunteers. KCBS contests run on volunteer power. Judges do not get paid; we do not win cash prizes. We get to eat good, great and (sometimes) terrible barbecue, and we do it week after week because we enjoy it. It is a costly proposition, and we don’t ask for much in return. In this case, we didn’t get anything.

You have shown how little you value your volunteer judges’ time and effort.

Our final total on this wasted Saturday:

• Eight hours of driving from Aberdeen to Vermillion (four hours there, four hours back).
• 560 miles of wear and tear on my car.
• $80 worth of gas. I filled the tank last night for the trip there, and filled up just outside of Vermillion on the way back.
• $40 in lunches we didn’t expect to to buy.
• 12 hours of wasted day. We could have saved $120 and stayed home.

And, if it makes your life any easier, you’ll have three fewer judges to be bothered with next summer.

J.J. Perry

Was back in Marshall, Minn., last weekend for the SMSU Smokefest. It was one of the better contests of last year, and a lot of fun again this year.

This, to me, is a “judges’ contest.” The organizers have thought of everything to make this a great judging experience. The swag was your choice of SMSU ball cap, along with two logo pint glasses.

Then there was the breakfast: Coffee is always a plus. They had danishes, which was good. But there was a full breakfast: bacon, sausage, eggs, hashbrowns and fruit. Damn! And all the judging was in the basketball court, so it was comfortable (and, unlike last year, they put two tables together for each judges’ table, which gave us plenty of room to work).

Chicken and ribs categories were OK. I really liked the pork, with two entries getting 9-9-9 from me, and another getting 9-8-9. Others at my table weren’t so wild for those entries. There was one bad brisket that got lots of 5s (and maybe lower) at our table, along with several comment cards.

Here are the winners.

On a side note, after cooking with Big Island BBQ in Watertown, I have sent off all the documents for master judge certification. Now just waiting for info to take the test.

First visit to Memphis Barbecue Co. in Southaven, Miss., Aug. 10, 2012. Good, good food.  Picked up a bottle of rub.

Here they are, 30 contests judged. Ready to send these off to KCBS for master judge.

Recent Q

I wasn’t going to blog any more barbecue contests — I wasn’t even going to count them — after I hit the 30 necessary to attain master judge status. When I got to Huron Saturday, I was told to keep counting, as KCBS will do something to recognize judges on their 100th contest. Another goal!

Good contest, lots of fun, great car show. The best part was this was Tina’s first contest. Sounded like she judged like a pro. She said she finally understands why I don’t want to be touched or bothered after a contest — too much meat.

Anyway, one good thing was I met a team that might be interested in me helping cook with them at the next big contest, Watertown, SD.

Here were the results. Congrats to Spitfire: great team, great restaurant.